Weariness...

I was lamenting to myself today about how weary I am of battling the flesh. I'm so tired! Every day, the battle against sin seems to overwhelm me. Or as is says in Hebrews 12: 1, the race against sin. I picture it like this: I'm running in a race (against the enemy) and Jesus, my point man, gives me the right direction towards which to run. But as I'm running, I can't seem to gain any ground.

I've never run a marathon, but have friends who have. They told me about how there are usually hundreds (or thousands) of runners; and unless you've started at the front of the pack, it usually takes quite sometime of slow jogging for the pack to start to thin enough for one to be able to make an attempt to break free from the pack. And that's how I feel in this race against sin. I feel as though I can't gain any ground because I cannot break free from the hundreds of Satan’s little minions who are running all around me.

In my lamenting, I was thinking about how hard this battle is. How physically demanding battling the enemy can be or how discouraging battling the flesh can be. Honestly, I’ve been feeling a bit sorry for myself because it seems that no matter how hard I try, I can’t get ahead. (I know, you’ve probably heard that a hundred times, or even said that yourself). But as He always seems to do, the Lord directed my attention to Hebrews 12:1-4, and specifically to verse 4.

1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood

I was humbled to the point of tears. It’s like the Lord was saying to me, “What are you complaining about. You haven’t even come close to resisting sin the way my Son did. He resisted sin to the point of shedding His blood. What have you done? To what lengths have you gone to resist sin?” Oh, well, let’s see. I listened to some Christian music; I thought about some bible verses, talked to a brother in Christ, umm…well, I guess I didn’t do much. I certainly didn’t shed any blood, unless you count the little bit of blood I shed trying to pet Stink Bug (our cat).

The truth of the matter is that like we all do sometimes, I think I’ve become complacent in my attitude towards sin; or to put it another way, content with where I’m at in my walk with God. Sad isn’t it? But I don’t like how hard it is to walk with God. I know He never promised it would be easy, but sometimes the struggle seems like more than its worth. This seems like an extreme statement, but it is how I feel. I said earlier it seems that no matter how hard I try, I can’t get ahead. Perhaps therein lays the problem. I’m trying. I am the one trying to do the work instead of allowing God, through the Holy Spirit, to do the work in me.

Lord, I ask you today that you will teach me a new way of doing things; one that involves you doing the work through me, instead of me repeating failure after failure. Thanks for giving the Holy Spirit to show us the way. Today I want to open my heart to Him and allow Christ to do a work in me. I ask these in your precious Son’s name! Amen!